To consume less, add friction
In the quest to make our lives more convenient, we’ve overwhelmed ourselves with access and become addicted. To reclaim your mind and wallet, add friction instead of removing it.
A recent Hidden Brain episode called “The Paradox of Pleasure” outlined the modern conundrum we find ourselves in.
Hits of dopamine, in the form of digital dings, notifications, social likes, gaming, shopping, porn, and even things like virtual gambling, are more accessible than ever before thanks to the smartphone and high-speed internet connectivity.
“Angeleno Affair”
As Stanford psychiatrist Anna Lembke puts it, “the first [reward] releases a surge of the chemical in our brains, but because our brains tend toward homeostasis, we almost immediately afterward feel a deficit, which manifests as the sensation of additional craving.” A natural system of counterbalancing moments of pleasure.
In the past, seeking the pleasure of shopping or gambling required far more effort to achieve the same result. Technological advancement of just the last 20 years has changed all of that completely.
My addiction comes in the form of compulsive online browsing.
I love the thrill of the hunt, and as you can imagine, many apps are available to sift through the digital racks of the internet. There are at least four that I use to browse interesting, globally-sourced things. This inevitably leads to shopping and ultimately, overspending.
Dopamine isn’t the enemy—as it’s an important part of our human motivational wiring—it’s the easy and inexpensive access that has made pleasure irresistible.
We’ve all been turned into addicts without realizing it.
“Barbie night at Connor’s”
One way I have found to counter current conventions of instant, limitless access is to add friction rather than removing it, to curb consumption and rein in addiction when I’m feeling out of control.
Why Friction is Good
Friction is a sensation we typically avoid in our lives, because friction impedes efficiency and comfort.
“Friction-less” is a buzzword often applied to new technologies that help speed our transactions both online and offline, like Apple wallet and RFID tap-to-pay.
But is that ease always a good thing?
Friction forces us to be patient, be creative, think harder, and slow down—all of which can be helpful when making important decisions or scrutinizing details, and in moderating our mental pleasure center.
For example: when I have a car, there’s less friction of my movement, so my geographic agenda can be more spread out. Great in theory, exhausting and aggravating in reality.
The friction of not having a car ends up simplifying my schedule because it isn’t so easy to run a million errands. I’m forced to organize myself and prioritize the limited hours I have. I end up doing what is most important to me, often what’s best for me, rather than bopping all around town, wasting fuel and dealing with the stresses of driving and parking.
Technologies like Apple Pay make it lightning-quick to buy something via Instagram or Pinterest without the friction of physical retail and personal movement.
Tapping our phones to pay via digital wallet is super handy in daily life, but tends toward making it easier to spend more money too.
The newest trend of a pre-loaded 25% tipping option on the payment terminal at coffee shops, cafes, stores, and service businesses (like dry-cleaning) feels less like convenience, more like trickery.
Subscriptions are another frictionless transaction that most of us “set and forget,” only to notice months later something you’ve been paying for without using or realizing it.
In my opinion, adding friction back into some of our behaviors in order to slow down the speed of spending is a worthy thing to consider.
It’s why I believe novelties like the light phone have begun to catch on. It’s a dumb phone with limited capabilities, a sort of back-to-basics personal communication device without the noise of email, social media, or news.
Tom N Toms Coffee
The Benefits of Friction
Low friction movements, transactions, and other consumptive activities can often be less about convenience and more about limitless access, but that access presents its own challenges.
Our instantaneous world has become a slippery slope to separate each of us from our money and cloud our relationship with pleasure.
Credit solutions like Buy Now, Pay Later (BNPL) from brands like Klarna, Afterpay, and Affirm have become common because fewer young people have credit cards than in the past.
But is the option to split almost any online purchase into four interest-free payments really a helpful convenience, or does it simply help us consume more?
In my experience, adding friction back into certain consumptive activities—like requesting to be texted before having prescriptions refilled or reviewing and canceling obsolete subscriptions regularly—has helped me feel more in control of my money.
Setting screen time limits has had the same effect when it comes to consuming content on apps like Instagram and Pinterest, and helped me curb compulsive browsing on fashion shopping apps like Grailed and ShopStyle.
“Tree-house”
The truth is, our addiction to the dopamine hits provided by fingertip access has made us less happy, less present, and more addicted.
If we are to treat ourselves with more respect and allow space for the full spectrum of life’s experiences, we must view healthy friction as a necessary gatekeeper to the digital onslaught that’s just waiting to addict us and take our money.
Ways to Add Friction and Save Money
Set screen-time limits for apps you use often—for me it’s Instagram and various shopping apps
Enjoy a tech-free day (Sundays work well) where you explore your inner or outer world with analog tools only, like walking, biking, journaling, reading, swimming, cooking, etc.
Review monthly subscriptions to ensure they are providing value to you (e.g. Spotify, Apple TV, Dropbox)
Scrutinize convenience services like Instacart to understand the fee structure and service costs, vs. higher-friction alternatives
Opt to walk instead of drive
Opt to pick-up takeout instead of ordering through a delivery app like Doordash, etc.
Opt to pay in cash instead of using credit or debit—many businesses now offer a cash discount
As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate you.
Got thoughts?
I love this, Alex. Been thinking of experimenting with a tech free day. I've been trying to leave my phone at home when I go sailing (have a radio in case of emergency) and it's a balm for my brain to have several consecutive hours without screens.
ALWAYS love your posts. Outs (of the house) and Ins (the house) create a satisfying balance for me.