Finding joy and growing where we're planted

Sometimes we have to accept before we can build

In August I found a job as a budtender at a medical marijuana dispensary here in Tampa. I’m the oldest person on the team, and it’s taken a while to enjoy what it is—some stability in an unstable time. But also, an opportunity.

I took the job because I needed income. While the rest of my life feels hard and progresses slowly, an epiphany came when I realized I was actually having fun at work.

As the head of marketing at an e-commerce startup in LA, I spent 5 years working remotely behind a screen, conducting interactions via Zoom. I had a cute apartment, money to spend, and pleasant weekends and holidays, but I was stressed by the workload and frustrated with a lack of growth. Sunday was scary. I hated sitting for 6-8 hours a day, staring into a screen, furiously tapping away. Some days I would take out my frustrations at the gym or on a long power walk. In many ways I felt trapped, unfulfilled, and I coped with consumption.

But strange things happened when I let go of the old me and my old life.

It’s been three months working at the dispensary, and although I still pine for the fatter paychecks, I find myself having more fun and being less stressed. I’ve become attached to the success of the business, and to the people.

My favorite part is interacting with patients. Most are pleasant, polite, and enjoy just chatting with us. Some are characters but many are normal people trying to get through their day. Moms, dads. Blue collar, white collar. College students and senior citizens. Cannabis brings a lot of people relief, so it’s a joyful position to be able to get them what they want.

I’ve wondered if cannabis could be a political unitor—an issue that otherwise divided groups can agree on.

The job has also renewed my appreciation for being part of a team. I’ve had coworkers before, but never been the wise elder. It’s satisfying being there for them. I hesitate to call myself a mentor, because I’m still learning—about life, about weed, about how to upsell—but when it comes to life experience, I have a lot of it. I’m also a good listener and like giving counsel.

Aside from wanting to make more money and having weekends free, I find myself oddly satisfied with the new routine.

Plus the drama is endless and mostly inconsequential. I feel like I’m part of a funny little weed fam.

Our collective evolution has been interesting to witness. We were hired to open the first retail store for a new cannabis company in Florida. I didn’t foresee how we’d step up to the occasion, how we’d get to know each other, and how our team would crystallize into a supportive, well-oiled machine.

Our shop is in a strip mall along a busy highway just outside Tampa’s city limits. The old me would have balked at the lameness of being stuck in the suburbs. But I’ve actually enjoyed the change. People are friendly, there are four food options within a fifteen-second walk, a decent third-wave coffee spot across the street, and I’m only a twelve-minute commute from home.

What I’ve come to appreciate is the enthusiasm and excitement of possibility.

I’m working at a new, growing company. My experience with startups is relevant—the lack of initial structure and scrappy “move fast and break things” mentality hasn’t bothered me. I’m accustomed to learning and adapting to new procedures quickly, and (perhaps most valuable in a startup environment) having a direct line to the organization’s leaders.

Aside from wanting to make more money so I can move out of my dad’s house and having weekends free again, I find myself oddly satisfied with the new routine.

I like my coworkers. I like my bosses. My contributions are appreciated and my suggestions are taken. Plus, our product is good. It sells itself to connoisseurs. All we have to do is get it into their hands and engage them with grace and respect in order to win their loyalty.

I may not control what’s to come, but I’ve realized the best I can do is continue to be reliable, trustworthy, agile, creative, and willing to experiment and take ownership.

My digital marketing experience will come in handy as we grow, and my people-first approach will hopefully position me well to grow with the company.

I won’t be satisfied forever, but I’m grateful for where I am now.