5 practices I employ for daily contentment

/how to live happily in the moment

bathroom selfie at Bacetti in Echo Park

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Two weeks ago I had a little birthday party in my apartment and it was the best birthday ever. Except for any past fire truck-related birthday parties, of course. I gathered thirteen of my closest (local) friends in my 550 square foot apartment, baked a few flatbreads, and I turned 37.

After nearly four and a half years, I decided it was time to share myself and my space with the people who’ve made my time in Los Angeles really wonderful and rich. I moved here just before the COVID pandemic, with virtually no money in the bank and a massive business school loan. My only valuables were my clothes and my computer.

Today I have a light-filled apartment in a nice building, in the bustling Filipinotown section of LA. I’ve filled it with plants and art and beautiful, functional things. A $130 portable LED lamp (in a matte rust brown finish) is my new obsession. I bought a bicycle last year, and this year is looking good for a car.

And, my social life is about as busy as I want it. Only recently have I realized that not everyone makes friends so easily or has a generous network upon which to call. I feel lucky.

In many ways, my life today feels like it has arrived. That’s the best way I can describe it. I’m finally living the life that I’ve deeply desired for so long, and am owning my achievement. What’s more, I’m owning where and who I came from and stepping out from underneath fear of failure and of success, of being eccentric, of being in the spotlight. I’m accepting my own flaws and the flaws of those around me, and celebrating the incredible experience of living and evolving alongside others.

It’s finally penetrated my thick skull: Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be profoundly rewarding. Perfection is a trick of the mind, anyhow. Perhaps this is what my editor meant when she said “you’re 37…you’re in your prime!”

Yet I’m hardly complacent about forward momentum. I have even bigger goals and expectations of leaps this year and for the next decade. What’s new is, instead of harboring fear and doubt about it or worrying about how I’ll perform or how I’ll be perceived, I’m relaxing and trusting that everything will work out.

I’m welcoming and celebrating the benefits of being in my prime, along with new responsibilities and risks. I’ll make some mistakes and embrace them and learn from them. But I’m not afraid anymore. I’m ready to try new things and be terrible at them—with a smile on my face.

Through the consistent work of journaling, reading, and seeing both a therapist and a life coach regularly, I’ve come to identify some basic daily actions that help anchor me in the present and help me avoid dwelling on the negative aspects of life.

1. I express gratitude first thing in the day. Someone pointed me to the idea that giving thanks early in your day sorta primes the pumps of joy and acceptance. I combined it with journaling and I’ve been digging it.

2. Simple breath exercises can improve my mood and calm my body. It’s 25 “exaggerated breaths” every morning, each midday, and every evening. An exaggerated breath can simply be a big inhale and then a big exhale. I can do the 25 ins-and-outs in about 60 seconds. Truly the definition of being “high on my own supply.”

3. I move my body every day. Even just a walk. If I don’t move I feel like I get in my head—exercise tends to ground me in the present, here and now.

4. I try to practice “active choice". That is, pausing between impulse and action to consider if I’m operating from a perspective of lacking and numbing, or from a perspective of loving and giving to myself.

5. I keep a couple of notebooks open and available, so I never miss an idea or insight, and can easily write myself reminders, create to-do lists, or jot down random thoughts.

Thanks for supporting my journey and my writing, and stay tuned for more philosophical, wellness-and-wealth discussions coming soon.